My friend over at Little Owl Crunchy Mamma was bullied the other day, on national television, by women who pretend to be all about loving others, respect, understanding and empowerment of women. Behind their fake and quite transparent marketing ploy lay two heartless women who dare make fun of a woman they have NEVER MET because she chooses a less toxic lifestyle. Not only that, they insinuated her daughter would not love her and she was less of a mother for DARING to chose to make this world a healthier place for her and her family. HOW DARE SHE care about toxins. HOW DARE SHE want to avoid getting cancer, or endocrine disruption, or lose her hair and instead chose to go no-poo, washing her hair with baking soda and apple cider vinegar, THEN, very selfishly (according to Kathy Lee and Hoda) stopped washing her hair all together. She obviously is a horrible mother…. or not.
Actually, Jacqueline is a wonderful mother. She cares about her own health and that for her family and I bet she does it without smelling like body odor or swamp. How do I know this? Because I have also been “poo-free” since 2012 and I promise, I don’t smell like swamp, and I usually only smell like BO when I am gardening on a hot day. These things happen.
I have been making my own non-toxic DIY shampoo which works wonderfully, and my husband has been using my DIY anti-dandruff shampoo for just as long. The thing is, we don’t want to smell “gross”, we just want to reduce our toxic load. What is wrong with that? What is wrong with choosing to avoid toxins in our life? And how, exactly, does that make us a worse mother? Some how not living up to toxic mores about personal care makes us bad mothers?
Kathee Lee and Hoda, I don’t watch your show and when you do make the news, I don’t really give a hoot because honestly, your marketing ploys don’t fool me. But really, when did it become ok for women to attack each other for making different decisions? Why should we all fit in your mold for beauty? I am sorry but your narrow minding attack and adult bullying needs to stop. What kind of example are we setting for children? Who the hell do you think you are? Really? To judge someone you haven’t even met to get some publicity? It is time you thought long and hard about how you acted, because if you were MY children, you would be punished for your rude and thoughtless behavior.
I want to share with you a letter Crunchy Betty wrote. I think she put it very well while avoiding the cuss words I would like to use.
Dear Kathie Lee and Hoda (but mostly Kathie Lee),
Just … shh.
For a minute. Let me talk. Let someone else talk. Please.
Yesterday, with the exceptional display of journalistic prowess only the two of you can pull off, you publicly shamed a woman. You know, just a little good-natured name calling of a commoner, in between Kathie Lee’s cringe-worthy lyric-forgetting and the best hair evah (EVAH) popular girls circle jerk. No harm, no foul, right?
I get it, girlfriends. I really do get it. You live in a world where you’re plied with products and serums and perfumes and creams made of extracts of baby albino tiger tears mixed with space-aged polymers coated in 200 karat gold. You don’t really know what’s going on *out here* unless your producers shove a bottle of wine and a paper covered in words in front of your face and say, “Don’t think. Just talk.”
I know there’s an in-touch part of you somewhere, it just happens to focus on things like the latest stiletto-wedge-ballet-pump from Jimmy Choo or what Lady Gaga ate for breakfast yesterday morning (extracts of baby albino tiger tears, no doubt).
But out here, ladies, something else is going on. And it’s something your producers won’t hand you a script for (something that would never please the overlord advertisers).
So even though you’re not in touch with it, it does exist. And the beautiful women you made fun of yesterday is a part of it. You can call it “crunchy” (cue Kathie Lee eye roll) or natural or alternative or big bang boopsie. I don’t care. Call it whatever you want, but to look down on it any longer doesn’t fly.
You see, there are thousands of women who have learned one very important thing in the last few years:
We’ve been lied to. We’ve been bamboozled. We’ve been hoodwinked. We’ve been hypnotized by a billion synthetic fragrances slowly stripping us, from the day we’re born, of every shred of the true *natural* humanity we’re a part of.
And because hundreds of women as brave as Jaquelyn Byers of LittleOwlCrunchyMama have spoken out about their no ‘poo lifestyle, we know something you don’t:
Not washing your hair with shampoo doesn’t make you stink. Oh, maybe the first few days are rough, and then any whiff of off-putting smell is gone. It’s gone, and you know why? Because human bodies are designed to work in concert with nature, not battle with it.
We’ve also learned that the stink you cop to having after not washing your hair, Kathie Lee, has more to do with the things that you put IN your body than the things that you put ON your body. A clean diet, more often than not, equals a cleaner smell. And that cleaner smell is quite easy to remove (and be free of), even if you only wash with water.
You can still bathe regularly, Kathie Lee, so you don’t have to worry about smelling like the people “back in the day before shampoo” who only bathed once every few weeks, at most. You can still enjoy other comforts of modern day life. Like, you know, razors and toothbrushes and those little family stick figures you put on your car’s back window. Except not the last part. Please, not those.
I don’t know why I expect more of you, but I do. I expect women in the media to be conscientious about the way they talk about new ideas and, even more so, the way they talk about people. About other women. And, for heaven’s sake, about other women and their relationship with their children.
The disrespect you showed Jacquelyn, simply because she does something you’re not brave enough to learn about, much less try, was nothing short of schoolyard bullying.
I have a friend, you know, who has two girls: ages 5 and 7. And when she caught her children making fun of another kid for having curly hair, do you know what she did? She curled their hair. For a week straight, the girls had curly hair, just so they understood what another person was feeling.
So I know that one of you – I’m guessing Hoda, because she seems to be the bravest of the gang – is going to swallow your pill and do the right thing now. If a 5-year-old and 7-year-old can do it, you can muster up the emotionally responsible fortitude to do it, too.
Don’t wash your hair.
For six weeks.
Do not wash your hair with shampoo. Heck, you could even go the no ‘poo with baking soda and apple cider vinegar route. But either way, no shampoo. For six weeks.
And then come back and talk to us about how awful it is. Then you can talk from an experienced point of view. Then, perhaps, you won’t sit up there on your ultra loud thrones and set the tone for other people to feel like it’s okay to be mean. And many of your viewers were mean. Nasty. Bleh.
Until then, it would be ever so kind if one of you would have a sit down with your producers and schedule a few interviews with women who don’t use shampoo. Get them in your studio. Right next to you. In your face.
So you can smell them. And eat crow.
(I hear it’s delicious this time of year.)
And goodness knows I’m not saying it will work for you. It may not! I mean, let’s be honest, it won’t, because it takes exquisitely detailed spritzing and teasing and coiffing to get you camera ready all the time. But what’s six weeks going to hurt, right? Time flies when you’re a celebrity.
Try it. It’s not like you’ll lose your job – unlike the way you do when you anger the masses by being heartless and snarky.
The worst that can happen is that you’ll stink. The best that can happen is that you’ll gain our respect – and a naturally beautiful head of hair in the process.
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